Life Lessons from Full House

Nostalgia is a funny thing. Everyone has memories, special recollections from the past. But it takes a special memory to make something nostalgic. I think the difference is that nostalgia is the intangible way that you miss something - the way that sometimes, often unexpectedly, a memory pulls at your heart strings and in my case usually triggers uncontrollable misty eyes.

On a vacation about three years ago, I experienced a surprising longing for the past and found myself reliving flashes of vivid memories that rolled through my mind like a movie reel. On this trip, I visited San Francisco with my Sorority Sister. Both of us are products of the mid-eighties and fondly remember the sitcom, "Full House."  We wanted to see the memorable “painted ladies,” a row of Victorian homes that are featured in the picnic scene in the opening credits of each episode. This was easier said than done. I guess we both assumed that there would be signs posted all over the city pointing us toward, what we thought was a huge attraction. Low and behold, after some relatively extensive Google searching and a serious calf workout, we found ourselves in an area called Alamo Square, a beautiful city park featuring the “painted ladies.”

The "Painted Ladies"

So there it was. A scene I have viewed my whole television viewing life was right in front of me. Surrounded by tourists, I immediately felt a rush of memorable scenes from the show. I could picture myself at home, on my bedroom floor, with a crimper in one hand and the remote in the other, watching the program that defined my childhood. Ever since seeing the “painted ladies,” I have been thinking about that show. I took something away from each episode and somehow, looking back, I used Full House to measure the expectations I had for my own life.

Others may not understand the friends we choose. 

Known for being irritating and having smelly feet, Kimmy Gibbler was D.J.’s funny best friend that no one particularly cared for. But many times she proves to be a truly loyal friend to D.J. This relationship demonstrates then idea that opposites attract, and that it is okay to be different than your friends - a simple lesson that I found to be valuable time and time again. I have a few Kimmy Gibblers in my life and while not everyone always understands their value as a friend, I do. I am grateful for the unique friendships I am blessed with and the unique role each friend plays in my life.

There is no “normal” family.

Well this sure goes without saying in this family. Danny, a single parent, is raising three daughters and asks his brother-in-law and best friend to move in to help. Then they never leave. As a kid growing up with a single mom, grandparents, and my siblings, I remember valuing the idea of having a non-traditional household. Now, don’t get me wrong, some aspects of the Full House family were sickeningly unrealistic, but I remember finding comfort in the fact that they were different.

Confrontation is not easy.

No matter the conflict, big or small, the Tanner family managed to solve any problem in a 30 minute episode. Even at a young age, I grew to recognize the cheesy dramatic music which likely signified a touchy moment that usually involved an apology and a hug. While I knew that not every conflict in real life could be handled so easily, I valued the simplicity of the show’s typical arguments because it taught me to remember that life is not a television show. Hurt feelings do not always mend quickly and conflict can take a great deal of nurturing. I learned to value healthy confrontation, but to also accept that it is not as easy as the Michelle and Stephanie could make it look.

Great couples can still break up.

D.J. ad her cute boyfriend Steve had the relationship that every girl pictures. Together for about two years, they have their ups and downs, but in general it is a picturesque high school love story. Steve is older and during D.J.’s senior year she realizes that she needs a change and the two have drifted apart. They break up after a hike on a hill top and I vividly remember it being a calm conversation that ends with D.J. sitting on a rock and looking out at the beautiful San Francisco landscape. At a young age, watching them experience feelings that I did not yet understand, I was very disappointed with their break-up. But, seeing D.J. feel relieved and content with her decision, I learned a lesson in relationships. It showed me not to expect that my first boyfriend and I would be together forever, and allowed me to learn that sometimes, in relationships you have to do what is best for you. Okay, I may not have realized all of these things at the time, but certainly was able to channel D.J.’s emotions when I experienced break-ups later in life.

Change is hard.

I can still sing the words to the song “Michelle’s Smiling,” written and sung by Uncle Jesse when he is moving out and into his own home. That was a tear jerker, but the lesson is that just because a relationship may change, doesn’t mean that it has to end. Now, he didn’t end up leaving so perhaps this was a backwards lesson in getting what you want. But regardless, I took away the idea that relationships are always evolving. It can be a challenge, but if it is a relationship that you value, it is worth the work to maintain.

It’s funny the lessons and ideas that we can take away from something that seems so simple. Even when we do not realize it at the time, something as simple as a television show can certainly contribute to values we attain and the expectations we have for our own lives. What from your childhood makes you nostalgic today? What makes you long for the way things once were? And on a more challenging note, what is part of your life now that you want to make sure you cherish in the future?

THE Full House House!